


Talking Body

by PorcupineGirl



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: #lardosuspected, Ballroom Dancing, Coming Out, Dancing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 09:45:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8051557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PorcupineGirl/pseuds/PorcupineGirl
Summary: Before Jack quite knows what's happening, he's dancing with Bitty—to a song with a rather sultry beat and suggestive lyrics, in front of Lardo. He tries to ignore all that; after all, Lardo had just been dancing the same steps to the same song with Bitty moments earlier. She won't think it means anything if he does the same.





	Talking Body

**Author's Note:**

> I've taken exactly one ballroom dance class, just enough that I can sometimes identify what dances would work with what songs. And whenever I hear Talking Body, my brain starts imagining all the very hot choreography that could go with it.
> 
> Then somebody was brilliant enough to make [this amazing Zimbits video to it](http://peachestrovosky.tumblr.com/post/148155241841/never-fall-for-a-straight-boy-omgcheckplease-i), and suddenly all I could think about was Jack and Bitty dancing to it. But I didn't have time to write it til I got Go Down With This Ship finished and posted. (Also, Freddie Fox is my headcanon Bittle 5eva and you should imagine him in basically any fic I write. I haven't settled on a headcanon Jack that I really love yet.)
> 
> Thanks to [justaphage](http://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingDragon42/pseuds/justaphage) for a quick beta! She pointed out that Jack probably couldn't follow this easily - and I agree, but I also just posted GDWTS so it's not like this is the most unrealistic fic I've ever written! LOLOLOL Let's all suspend disbelief. ;)
> 
> PS Here is a video of [people actually doing the cha cha and rumba to the song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74Q_zvHpW8Q).

"You have been holding out on me, Mr. Zimmermann!"

Jack blinks at Bitty's face on his phone. He's tired. Bits should be tired. He'd expected to be greeted by a sleepy-eyed boyfriend saying hello in the soft-around-the-edges voice Bitty gets when he's half-asleep.

Instead, Bitty's eyes are wide open, and he's throwing out playful accusations before even saying hi.

"Um… Sorry?" Jack cocks his head to one side. "I miss you."

"I miss you too, baby, but you will not believe what I learned from Lardo today."

Jack squints at the phone dubiously. It is way too late for this kind of conversational whiplash. Luckily, Bitty continues before he has to formulate a response.

"Lardo, in her quest to explore all forms of creative self-expression, signed up for a ballroom dance class." Ohhhh. "An _intermediate_ ballroom dance class. And she needed a partner so she wouldn't have to dance with random sketchy dudes, because the person who took the _beginning_ class with her her freshman year apparently _graduated_ and moved to _Rhode Island_."

"Yes, I admit it, I took a ballroom dance class once with Lardo," Jack deadpans. "I'm so, so sorry I hid this vitally important piece of my personal history from you. Can you ever forgive me."

"I mean, obviously I know you've got a sense of rhythm, but I had no idea you could use it to do anything other than, y'know." Bitty gives him a devilish grin. "Rhythmically grind against my ass in the kitchen."

Jack raises an eyebrow. "Now that I can do that, why would I use it for anything else?"

"Anyhow, silly, once I know some of these ballroom steps, you are taking me dancing, and I don't care if it _is_ just in your living room."

"Wait, so you're taking the intermediate class with her?" Jack frowns. "Doesn't that mean you already know them?"

"I've never taken a ballroom class, but I've got enough of a dance background, the instructor reckons I'll be okay." Bitty shrugs carelessly; apparently he has enough of a "dance background" that he doesn't even think it's interesting that he's being allowed to skip a level. But before Jack can ask what dance he's done besides the figure skating, Bitty's smirking again. "A little birdie named Lardo tells me that wasn't _your_ first class, though. Spill, mister. Exactly how much ballroom dancing have you done?"

Jack rolls his eyes, settling back on the couch. "My parents are celebrities who go to all kinds of fancy charity events. They made me take some basic lessons while I was still at home so I could waltz with other rich people's daughters when they dragged me along. The class with Lardo was much more fun, because it was the first time I'd ever done it voluntarily. Now, what exactly is this _dance background_ you mentioned, eh?"

"Wait, you didn't know that?" Bitty looks honestly confused.

"I mean, I know you figure skated, and that's sort of dancing? Is that what you mean?"

"Sort of dancing, I swear." Bitty rolls his eyes fondly. "I took a few years of ballet; all the serious competitors did. Then when I was in high school I took a couple of hip-hop classes, which I could actually take without getting beat up at that point because _So You Think You Can Dance_ made it cool for boys to do that kind of dancing. Or, well, acceptable, at least … I dunno about _cool_. So anyhow, the instructor for this class told me to go to youtube and look at the basic steps for each dance, and beyond that I'll probably pick it up easy enough."

Jack's seen videos some of Bitty's old figure skating routines; now he wishes he could see him in a dance class. Bitty's always looked great dancing at parties, but Jack had no idea he had actual _training_. He tries not to get distracted by the thought of his boyfriend's lithe body, the way his muscles would flex and shift with every leap or twist.

"I can't wait to dance with you," Jack says sincerely.

—

Jack lets himself into the Haus on Thanksgiving morning, arms laden with the last-minute groceries he'd promised Bittle he'd pick up on the way over. It's only going to be them, Lardo, Chowder, Nursey, and Tango this year, so he's not sure how Bitty could need this many potatoes, but he's not one to argue with his boyfriend when it comes to anything kitchen-related.

As he makes his way down the hall to the kitchen, he can hear Bitty's pop music filtering through the air. He knows he's heard the song before, but can't place it—it's definitely not Beyonce, that's really all he knows for sure.

He shoulders his way through the kitchen door, then stops short. Bitty and Lardo are practicing their ballroom dancing… to this pop song. And it was working, was the weird thing. Jack stands there for a minute, watching the pair (one in slim-fitting khakis, a button-down, and an apron, the other in her pajamas) giggling their way through what he finally identifies as the cha-cha.

_Now if we're talking body_  
_You got a perfect one_  
_So put it on me_

When Bitty finally looks up and sees Jack, his face breaks out in the kind of grin that lets Jack know he's in trouble.

"C'mon, Jack!" Bitty exclaims, motioning him over as Lardo breaks away and takes the grocery bags from him. "I know you learned this one."

"Um." Jack isn't sure he _remembers_ anything about this dance.

"Don't worry, just follow my lead," Bitty chirps, putting Jack's hand on his shoulder. Jack's eyes widen.

"What do you mean, your lead? You're leading? I have to do this backwards?"

"Hush, you, yes, I'm leading. You step backwards first, here—one, two, there you go…"

Before Jack quite knows what's happening, he's dancing with Bitty—to a song with a rather sultry beat and suggestive lyrics, in front of Lardo. He tries to ignore all that; after all, Lardo had just been dancing the same steps to the same song with Bitty moments earlier. She won't think it means anything if he does the same.

Lardo had seemed to be holding her own, but her hips had not been moving remotely like Bitty's are. Jack tries to drag his eyes to safer parts of Bitty's body.

_Love, give me love_  
_Anything you want, I'll give it up_  
_Lips, lips I kiss_  
_Bite me while I taste your fingertips_

But in trying not to look down at Bitty's body, he winds up staring into his eyes instead, which is no better. Not when Bitty looks like he's going to eat Jack alive.

It's obvious that Bitty's knowledge of this dance has outstripped Jack's rudimentary memory of the basic steps, but luckily he's also damn good at leading, so Jack doesn't have much trouble keeping up. As the singer launches back into the chorus, though, Bitty tries to lead him into some kind of a turn that just does not work with Jack being so much taller.

The resultant laughter breaks the tension building between them, but then Jack grabs Bitty's hand off his waist and wrests control of the dance from him. Bitty's yelp when Jack switches their hand positions and presses him backwards in the first step makes Jack laugh again.

"My turn."

Bitty gasps as Jack pulls him tight against him. He bites his lower lip against a delighted grin, one that Jack can't help but mirror. Bitty is graceful; when he leads, the movements telegraphing his intentions are subtle to an observer but easy for his partner to feel. Jack isn't a bad dancer by any means, but gracefulness and subtlety are not skills he has had any time to develop. His movements are fluid enough, but he knows he's being more forceful than Bitty had to be. Bitty doesn't exactly seem to mind.

The steps have come back to Jack now, so he can lead Bitty into the turns that he couldn't do himself, pulling him back in tight after every one. He knows they're not really supposed to be right up against each other like this; in fact, it makes it a little harder to not step on each other's feet, but he can't seem to make himself put more space between them.

Jack struggles to keep his mind on the music and the dance steps instead of the way Bitty's muscles move against his.

There's a break in the song, and Jack is suddenly unsure what to do. The music all but cuts out; he can't find the beat.

Bittle senses the moment of weakness and pounces, switching their positions again.

"Ha! No more of that."

It could have been a crow of triumph—it's not. It's low and rough, and Jack can feel it crawl down his spine as the beat picks back up. He doesn't try to resist again.

Now Bittle is the one pulling Jack close, his movements powerful in a way they weren't before. Still far more graceful than Jack, but just as commanding. Moreso, maybe, because his confidence that Jack will follow is stronger in its own way than physical force. He doesn't try any more of the doomed turns, instead doing them himself. Which is not how the dance is supposed to go, but Jack really doesn't care when he's watching his boyfriend's hips roll and his body sway as it moves away and right back up against him again.

By the time the song is in its last few bars, the music dropped out to a bare beat behind the lyrics, Jack's pulse is racing and they're both breathing harder. They're in far too good of shape to claim it's from the dancing itself.

When it's done, they stand there for a moment, pressed together, eyes locked. Jack is just about to press Bitty into the counter and tear the apron off of him when—

"Wow."

Lardo's voice from across the kitchen makes them both spring back guiltily. Now Jack's pulse is racing for another reason entirely.

"Here's what's gonna happen," Lardo continues, hopping down from the countertop perch Jack hadn't even noticed she'd taken, "I'm gonna go, and I'm gonna close that door, and if anyone else tries to come in here I'll distract them. And you two are gonna sort that shit out."

"What?" Jack asks, feeling slow and stupid.

"It's just a _dance,_ Lardo," Bittle says, turning to fiddle with the half-peeled sweet potatoes on the counter. "You and me do that all the time, it doesn't mean anything."

"That wasn't dancing," Lardo says, shooting them a look as she reaches the kitchen doorway. "That was fucking foreplay. And I, for one, do not want to spend all day dealing with the resulting awkward sexual tension, so you two get to have a nice long chat and decide what to do about it."

Jack sucks in a breath, looking over at Bitty, who is staring back at him with wide, panicked eyes.

If they keep trying to deny everything, they're probably going to wind up with Lardo chirping them in front of the others all day.

If they do nothing, she'll probably tell the first frog to enter the Haus exactly why they should stay out of the kitchen.

"Please don't tell anyone!" Jack blurts out as she's closing the kitchen door. He shoots Bitty a questioning look. He can see the moment Bitty realizes what he's asking, and can also see the moment Bitty hides the hope that's blossomed on his face at the realization. It breaks Jack's heart, and he realizes they _need_ to tell someone.

Lardo is frowning at him, confused, but hasn't left yet.

"Shut the door, Lards," he says quietly. "And you can't tell _anyone_ , okay? Not even Shitty."

"We should probably tell him, sweetheart," Bitty cuts in, sliding his hand into Jack's. "If we're telling Lardo, it's only fair."

"So… you guys are…" Lardo motions for them to complete the sentence for her.

"Together," Jack says simply, looking down at Bitty and smiling.

"Six months and a week now," Bitty adds, leaning into Jack's arm and beaming up at him. Jack gets a little lost in his eyes until Lardo speaks again.

"Huh. Well, thank god. I thought you were just still stuck on him, Bits, and it was getting a little unhealthy. New plan, then."

She opens the door back up, then goes around and starts pushing them toward it.

"I'll finish peeling these sweet potatoes, and the regular potatoes, and get both of them cooking. You two are going to head up to Bitty's room and _really_ take care of that sexual frustration—"

"We don't—"

"Lards—"

"—before Chowder gets back from taking Farmer to the airport. And I damn well better not be able to hear you from down here."

Jack decides not to look a gift horse in the mouth. He hadn't really expected to get much alone time with Bitty today.

"But there's a pie in the—"

"You set a timer, Bits; I may not be able to bake, but I can take a pie out of the oven when the timer goes off. Now go give Jack a blowjob, shoo."

Bitty's face is bright red, but he stumbles out of the kitchen and into Jack when she pushes him. They stand there while the door shuts in their faces.

Jack winds his arms around Bitty, peppering gentle kisses behind his ear. He feels Bitty relax in his arms almost immediately.

"I don't know about you," he murmurs into Bitty's ear, "but I generally do what Lardo tells me to."

Bitty snorts. "You're just saying that because she told me to give you a blowjob."

"No," Jack insists, catching Bitty's earlobe between his teeth and making him gasp. "Trust me, if she told me to blow you I'd do that, too."

" _Get upstairs, I'm hearing too much already_ ," Lardo shouts from the other side of the door.

They laugh as Jack pushes Bitty toward the staircase.

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr.](http://porcupine-girl.tumblr.com) Feel free to leave me requests/prompts in my ask box, though I can't promise how quickly I'll get to them!


End file.
